ArgenXena v.2008 - Homenaje argentino a la Princesa Guerrera - Xena: Warrior Princess


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—¿Todo está bien?

—Sí... bien. Sólo pensaba. Gracias.

—¿Por qué?

—Sin importar lo que pase, siempre estás a mi lado.

—Igual tú, de eso estoy segura.

—Espero no decepcionarte nunca, Xena.

—Imposible.

Xena & Gabrielle, The Debt I (3x06)

THE DEBIT - Part One

(November 1997)

By Joanna Sandsmark

jsandsmark[at]gmail[dot]com

EXT. GREAT WALL OF CHINA - DAY

Xena and Gabrielle are painting their names on the great wall when a man stumbles toward them, bleeding and dying.

MAN

Xena...

Xena cradles him in her arms.

GABRIELLE

(‘not this again’)
Now what?

XENA

(to man)
I’m Xena. Who sent you?

MAN

I... I’m a messenger. The Quiet One Who Shushes With First Finger sent me...

XENA

(knowingly)
The Librarian...

MAN

You must... go to the Land Of Rus...

The man dies.

GABRIELLE

Huh? No way, Xena! We just blew a year’s worth of budget here in Chin. We don’t have any left for more epics! One-set comedies, that’s all we can handle.

XENA

Then we’ll have to save on your salary and I’ll go alone.

GABRIELLE

Then we’ll have to save on your salary and I’ll go alone.

XENA

I’m sorry, Gabrielle, but I have to go. I owe a great deal to The Librarian and if she needs me...

GABRIELLE

Better tell me the whole torrid, horrifying story so that I can be disgusted and betray you.

XENA

Excuse me?

GABRIELLE

Sorry, just thinking ahead. So who’s this Librarian?

CUT TO:
EXT. RUSSIAN STEPPES - DAY

Xena and Gabrielle are the only two people for miles, walking through the Russian steppes.

XENA

(mid-story)
...no, Gabrielle, this isn’t about periodicals. It’s about scrolls.

GABRIELLE

So what happened after you and this guy Dewey did the deed on top of the card catalogue?

XENA

That’s when I met her. The Librarian. She was no stranger to numbers, but she wasn’t obsessed with them, like Dewey. No, she was a different sort. Wild and free, putting fiction next to non, biographies with reference, the j’s next to the w’s -- nothing phased her. Structure, she said, was for the rest of the world. When you can get beyond logical organization, you can perform miracles. Then she zipped through the room two feet off the ground, tossing scrolls onto the shelves. Said it was easier than hauling a ladder around.

Suddenly, a cloud of dust can be seen in the distance. They watch as a weary traveler approaches. Xena strips off her clothes and jumps in a nearby mudhole. Finally, he pulls up his horse.

TRAVELER

Most nice greetings to you, Stranger.

GABRIELLE

Uh... howdy. Hang on a sec.

Gabrielle leans her head into the mud and attempts to pass air to Xena. Unfortunately, Xena is several feet away breathing through a hollow reed. Gabrielle finishes locking lips with a mud turtle and returns her attention to the traveler.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)
(to herself)
Must get that turtle’s number...
(to traveler)
May I help you?

TRAVELER

I heard Xena had entered the Land of Rus.

GABRIELLE

Yeah. I’ll sell her to you for thirty dinars.

TRAVELER

Excusing me?

GABRIELLE

Okay, twenty-five. But that’s my best offer.

TRAVELER

Um... I be here to return bracer Quiet One Who Shushes With First Finger borrow ten winters ago. I am not needing to be buying her.

GABRIELLE

Oh. Okay, I’ll pass it on.

The traveler hands Gabrielle the bracer and turns around. Xena slowly rises out of the mud, the hollow reed between her teeth, her blue eyes the only color on her filth-covered face.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)
(really scared)
Uh... Xena? I can explain...

Xena walks right up to Gabrielle, removes the reed and smiles.

XENA

Did you know that if you blow just right into these things they play a little tune? Listen!

Xena blows into her hollow reed, playing Proud Mary.

GABRIELLE

I take it you didn’t hear what went on with the traveler?

XENA

No, I had mud in my ears. What did he want?

GABRIELLE

He came to give you this bracer. Said it was from that quiet person.

Xena looks at it, her expression intense.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)
What is it? What’s wrong?

XENA

C’mon, we have to hurry.

Xena starts jogging ahead, while Gabrielle gathers up the warrior’s discarded clothing.

GABRIELLE

(yelling)
Don’t you want to get dressed first?

XENA

No time. I’ll just be naked until half-way through part two. It’s sweeps month.

Gabrielle checks the velcro that fastens her clothes to her body, sighing happily.

GABRIELLE

Thank the gods she’s willing to do all the naked stuff. Gotta love that woman.
(checking out Xena from behind)
And gotta love those shoulders and that back!
(shouting)
I’ll just wait here!

CUT TO:
INT. LIBRARY - NIGHT

Xena slips silently through the stacks, library card in her mouth. She gets on all fours and creeps toward the front desk. Slowly she rises, the card held high when the librarian turns around and -- it’s Gabrielle!

TO BE CONTINUED...

THE DEBIT - Part Two

Versiones originales en inglés

COMING OUT
Xena y Gabrielle visitan Potedia con una gran noticia.
COMING OUT - PART DEUX
Xena y Gabrielle llevan las mismas buenas nuevas a Anfípolis.
COMING OUT - THE WEDDING
Xena y Gabrielle celebran su unión en una ceremonia muy particular.
COMING OUT - THE RECEPTION
Xena y Gabrielle son agasajadas con una fiesta inolvidable.
COMING OUT - THE HONEYMOON
Xena y Gabrielle culminan la epopeya en la suite nupcial.
GABRIELLE’S HOPELESS
Parodia que se desarrolla luego de concluido el episodio “Gabrielle’s Hope”.
THE DEBIT - Part One
Parodia de “The Debt I”
THE DEBIT - Part Two
Parodia de “The Debt II”
MATERNAL MISTAKES
Parodia que se desarrolla luego de concluido el episodio “Maternal Instincts”.
BITTER TREAT - A MUSICAL PARODY
Parodia de “The Bitter Suite”.
RESURRECTION
Parodia que se desarrolla luego de concluido el episodio “Sacrifice II”.
DEAD, MY ASH!
Parodia de “A Friend In Need II”; ideal para quienes no quedaron muy conformes con el final de la serie.

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